2022 Predictions
With the Spring Training festivities winding down, it's time for another season of "Are you smarter than a 5th grade psychic?" We've put everything into an expensive, highly sophisticated algorithm and produced, frankly, the same kind of crap that we could have gotten out of asking our 90-year-old deaf cousin Louie, who thinks that baseball was invented by the devil. (Those responsible have been sacked.) But since we spent all that money, we might as well give you the results. So, here they are!
Shire Conference
Elf Division
It was an ugly year for the Elf Division last season, as Mirkwood limped into the playoffs as the first Shire Conference team ever to win a division with a losing record. The Marauders were two games under .500, but they were seven games ahead of Rivendell and a dismal division.
This season, Mirkwood hopes to extend their streak of three division pennants with a little more winning. While the team didn't make any moves during the off season, new hitting coach, Gamaund Gaimli, looks to put some life into their bats beyond Mablung *Véneanár. The relatively young pitching staff will be led by veteran Rundin Bloodytooth, Dosil Sandybanks (16-11 last year), and Ga Eärindel, who at age 23 is already a 5-year vet and 2-time All-Star.
Old Forest has improved their game somewhat since last season, even though their only real offseason moves were to pick up aging vets, Denaumir Deneadur and Haleodur Grilgol for the pitching staff and hire the newly retired Cinquefoil Boartooth as a bench coach. Still, there is quite a bit of talent coming up behind stars like Deneadur, Frodo Chubb, and Sjors Cheeseslicer. They just need some bats to go along with L. Rhond *Hubbard's.
Minas Tirith helped their cause tremdously by picking up free agents Foisil Belol, Skaiuk the Crazy and Drogo Tunnelkiller for their pitching staff, but 37-year old Teun Mulder is really their only hitting star.
Rivendell, a team that is supposedly rebuilding, made some curious moves during the offseason, purchasing free agents Hofur Goldcutter, Niara Smoothflower and Quinn Ladygrass...all 37-year old pitchers. Considering that their aces, Estagrel Bladeslinger and Mundin Elfplate are 38 and 39 respectively, there isn't much youth on the Royals' staff.
Division Winner: Mirkwood Marauders
Hobbit Division
Lake Town's rebuilding efforts paid off handsomely last season as the Archers went from worst to first and captured the division title, beating Bywater by a game. If anything, the team is even better positioned to win this year than last, as young stars like Farauron Gläldur, Lol Iggette, Gamodoc Tinàlindë, Muskrat *Ramble, Gamella Pender, Arwauden Earalinde and Kuuggek Eowiowyn are joined by free agent pickups, Elrialob Noriand, Floror Anándel and veterans Tubur Trollsnapper and Shaglakh the Devastator, acquired in trades.
There's no doubt about it, Bywater is old. The Bounders are still the equal of Lake Town, but this might be the last hurrah for the team unless they get a shot of new talent. The old familiar stars will be there, though, as Bromburg, *L'pu, and company vie for the division title.
Minas Ithil doesn't seem to be going anywhere, and the tragic career-ending injury to Balin Bloodspear this spring seems to have cast a dark shadow over the Wyrms.
Erebor keeps trying to get on track, picking up some vets during the offseason, including Terra Treegirl. A nice trade with Dunharrow saw the pick-up of hot, young prospect, Duudak Throatprodder, so the future for the Eagles is looking brighter.
Division Winner: Lake Town Archers
Dwarf Division
After their amazing run last season, the Bucklebury Fairies didn't have to do much. However, they added closer Isengrim Sandyman to an already terrific pitching staff in a trade with Dagorlad. Heartmasher, Minthrandir and friends will keep Shire Conference batters guessing all year, and Scarlett *III should continue her dominance at the plate.
Moria continues to improve, despite losing Shaglakh the Devastator to free agency. The Miners made a huge signing with a contract for Isiclya Belurion to lead their rotation. Look for youngster, Arwuma Elváril, to shine this year.
Bree is still putting the pieces together for a return to glory. The Cheese are building from within the organization, and they're looking stronger each year. The only question will be whether their older vets, like Spleenwhomper and *Dogsbody, will still be around when the youngsters mature.
Division Winner: Bucklebury Fairies
Shire Wild Card Winner: Moria Miners
Mordor Conference
Orc Division
The traditionally close Orc Division has been dominated by Dunharrow the past, and the Devils still have an amazing lineup of talent, including Yvestil Ala'Niel, Freodriel Eärémbor, Orgulas Black, Elanor Buckland, Imcir Imcirion, Jiminy *Monkeybone, Mimosa Goodrich and the newly acquired Voilin Gwaimir. This doesn't look like the year when things get a little tighter in the division.
Grey Havens has signed a bevy of free agents, including Cristian Estrella, Wilibald Oathsnapper and Galealbo Elvàwen. The problem is that Elvàwen, 40, is hurt and won't pitch for the first part of the season. The Stars still have Merilmir Knifecrawler, Aragon *the Chaste, Ariel Villa and others, but for a rebuilding team, it's still very old.
Dead Marshes is still a mix of old and new talent. The Uruk-hai picked up a new pitching coach, but not much else has changed.
Misty Mountain is still putting the pieces together for a run at the top. They picked up free agent shortstop Thaithor Lómithien, but mostly it's been all about growing new players down on the farm.
Division Winner: Dunharrow Devils
Goblin Division
Lothlorien is still the team to beat, but the rapidly aging Lumberjacks only significant moves over the winter were to grab Agnes Fernia and Vralak Footpoker out of the free agent pool.
Meanwhile, Ravenhill was busy even before getting their new GM. They signed some veterans like Born Long Cleve and Hudash Elfprodder to go along with the bats of Tom *Dill and Rhedry Scimitar in the hopes of unseating Lothlorien as division champs.
Numenor's big signing this offseason was for future Hall of Fame pitcher, Hallalonn Brilhirion. However, the Kings still have a long way to go before they gain regain their dominance.
Weathertop is still in transition, but they are a much younger team than any of their division rivals. In a season or two (or if the older teams break down with injuries), the Witch Kings could upset the apple cart.
Division Winner: Ravenhill Darkwings
Troll Division
This was the division with the most competition last year, as all four teams battled for the top spot. The young Minas Morgul Slayers had a good run at the division title, finishing just three games out, but they made it all the way to the Two Towers Series as the Wild Card. The Slayers are primed to take the division this season, as young stars like Lilith *Blackbarck, Friagorn Denihil, Tonar Ringworker and Sakura Silkpetal mature into great players.
Isengard is still a divisional powerhouse with the likes of Ragnar *Stonecutter, Glomli of Erebor, Frohil Anebrildur, Gorbadoc Overturf, Inigo Montoya, Sim Banks, Renato Morales, Deallyra Undomiel, Michale Fimir and Vinar Ringsmith. But the Raiders are starting to look a little old, and they desperately need more pitching to go along with their explosive bats.
Dol Guldur is one of the oldest teams in the league. The Dragons boast some Hall of Fame type stars, like Gollilmer Fyrith, Herman *Slobberknocker, Sortai Guril, Samwise Peatfingers, Tanta Chubb, Gragar Drowslobberer and Dejatok Belebrildur, but none of them (other than *Slobberknocker) is under the age of 35.
Dagorlad is looking toward the future. The most significant sign of that was the trade that sent their closer, Isengrim Sandyman, to Bucklebury for young Muugak Livertrembler. They also made a big deal with Carrock for 23-year old catcher Haran the Insane that won't pay dividends until a year or two down the road. Still, the Disaster will be in the hunt as a younger team, like Minas Morgul, trying to move forward.
Division Winner: Minas Morgul Slayers
Mordor Wild Card: Isengard Raiders
Shire Conference Winner: Bucklebury Fairies
Mordor Conference Winner: Minas Morgul Slayers
SGCBL League Champion: Bucklebury Fairies
2022 Power Rankings
Bucklebury Fairies
Minas Morgul Slayers
Moria Miners
Isengard Raiders
Lake Town Archers
Bywater Bounders
Mirkwood Marauders
Ravenhill Darkwings
Lothlorien Lumberjacks
Dunharrow Devils
Grey Havens Stars
Bree Cheese
Dead Marshes Uruk-hai
Dol Guldur Dragons
Old Forest Merry Fellows
Carrock Bears
Misty Mountain Hops
Dagorlad Disaster
Numenor Kings
Minas Ithil Wyrms
Minas Tirith Titans
Rivendell Royals
Weathertop Witch Kings
Erebor Eagles