Cover your nose. He's back and he means business!

via Bounders Free Press

BYWATER - You can't keep an Urak-hai hidden for long in the Shire. So, today the Bounders confirmed one of the worst kept secrets in team history. Neegar Nosegobbler is back in Bywater.

Many wondered why the fan favorite had vanished just before Spring Training earlier this year, and many lamented that this local idol did not pick up the RotK ring so many felt he deserved, but Nosegobbler looks alive and happier than ever.

Before his departure, there were signs that Neegar was growing frustrated with the Bounders "almost there" achievements. Much as he loved the town, and they loved him, there was a feeling that he may get bored and a concern that he might seek a trophy elsewhere.

Instead, Neegar set off on a pilgrimage. He headed back to the wilds of Mordor and set off on a trek to find something he felt was missing. However, he did not find his new path in this solitude. The mountains and wilderness failed to deliver the deeper purpose he was seeking. Nosegobbler found what he wanted where he least expected it, in a bustling town while he visited an old friend.

Deep in Orcdom, Nosegobbler and his old friend and teammate, Kogar Facedragger, watched some youngsters playing a rough and ready game in the ash fields. That's when Nosegobbler rushed onto the field and quickly whipped the youngsters into shape (some quite literally). Soon the town youth were playing decent ball; they started playing games against the local teams and would beat older, more experienced teams with ease. Nosegobbler had found his calling, and a call was soon made back to Bywater.

Sir Ken said, "We'd barely got back into town. The fans were still buzzing around us, and suddenly my secretary pops her head in my office and says that Neegar wanted to talk business. I was astounded. I thought he'd left the game for good, so I couldn't figure out what he might want to talk to me about. Anyway, it turns out the guy wants my job! If he wasn't 2 feet and about 100lbs bigger than me I'd give him a clip round the ear for being so cheeky, but once he explained the situation I realised he was serious. He's got a smart head on those shoulders, and if you get some good incense you barely notice the heads he keeps in his locker. So, we tossed the idea around, took a look at what he was doing over in the Mountains of Shadow, and offered him a job. Then we got more than we bargained for..."

Sir Ken is, of course, talking about the return of Facedragger too. Facedragger had been happy in his retirement. So, when Nosegobbler insisted they return to Bywater together, the answer was a straight "no." Yet, somehow seeing his friend so happy once more, and hearing the arguments to take on a similar role elsewhere in the Bywater organisation, eventually 'Cap' agreed to give it a try.

"Well, I'm getting older now," he said. "I can't fight like I used to. So, when Neegar said I was coming back to Bywater I didn't really have much say in the matter. But seeing the old clubhouse, seeing the trophy in the lobby, I'm proud to have been part of this team, and I'm glad I'm back. Maybe Neegar was right. Maybe I was turning into a dead rat sitting on my porch watching the world go by."

However they got them back into town there are many who are happy to see them. Although their new charges may find the experience less exciting as the scariest growls in the Shire are back, and they're going to get those youngster hitting the ball. And you really don't want to upset those teachers.

Posted at August 28, 2008 02:56 PM | more from Bywater